10 Best Ways to Ruin a Trip

15 02 2011
The following list of the 10 Best Ways to Ruin a Trip are, sadly enough from personal experience. Mostly.
_________________________________________________

10. Lock your keys in the vehicle after phoning home to say everything is fine.
9. Get stuck on a Forest Service Road 7 miles from camp –  at 2 am – because you thought it’d be fun to “drive around and look for deer.”
8. Set your tent on fire with a flung marshmallow.
7. Break your rod. Then break your “back up” rod a half-hour later.
6. Realize you remembered the extra propane cylinder, but you left the camp stove in the garage.
5. Forget the rain-fly for the tent. Then realize it’s ok because you forgot the tent, too.
4. Remember the 3 cans of beanie-weenies, but forget the can opener.
3. Fish for 2 days with a fly that has had it’s hook broken off.
2. Forget to pack deodorant.
1. Find out on the second day in the woods that being “pretty sure” you packed the TP wasn’t good enough.




NoonDay Sun, Winter Cold

1 02 2011

This video finds us on the banks and in the water of the majestic Nantahala River. It’s winter, and the trout were hard to come by…but it was a great day to be alive, fishing and out with a good friend, and that’s all that really matters.

Near fishless or not, thank God for days like these.

Lyrics to ” Ode to OBN ”

 





Where’s Owl?

24 01 2011

While I’m gone, check out the greatest story evar. It’s short, it’s funny and there’s original art work that goes with it. Seriously, this is a story you don’t want to miss…

THE STORY

Oh yeah…..startin’ this week we’ll be giving out an award to the blog that has the best post (according to FFSBR, all results are final) from that thar blogroll thangy-jiggy over thar to th’ right. The list of blogs I enjoy reading continues to grow and competition is sure to be stiff. ( that’s what …oh nevermind…) The award will be a jpeg logo thing you can attach to your blog. Or not. Up to you. We’ll just dole them out and you can do what you like about it. Just a heads up…





Death Prong: Part Two

23 01 2011

Part Two of a Four Part Series about my biggest adventure in over twenty years of visiting the woods and waters of Southern Appalachia.

_________________________________________________

Part Two

The sun’s rays were bright now, and the day was warming up almost as if it were early summer. Some small bugs, little flying triangular shaped devils, were biting our arms. We’d just popped out into the creek, stopped for a snack and a short breather after our climb down the mountain. I was sure the bugs had forewarning of our arrival. Sharp little stinging bites that were like needles and pins pricking my neck and arms and legs. Enough of this. I downed the last of my half full bottle of water, one of only two I’d brought along for the day not knowing that it would be a very, very long day.

We pushed upstream, over a small series of rocky, pocket-water wrinkles in the stream-bed and came to the first good looking spot. It was an amazingly deep, clear expanse of ice-cold water, with rusty red plank-like slabs of age-old stone running diagonally along the bottom of the pool. One of the planks made a shelf, with a deep undercut where a couple of nice trout might hide. I watched as a monster of a trout slipped under the shelf at our approach. He was at least 12 inches and shaped like a little football. I can’t remember who made the first cast up to the head of the pool, where the water slid into the deep pool with hardly a whisper…but I do remember that first fat little 7 inch trout slashing up and smashing the fly with almost an angry abandon against the blue sky above. Wriggling and splashing it came quickly to hand, and we got our first look at the trout in this creek that we’d taken such great pains to reach. It was what we’d come for – a native Southern Appalachian Brook Trout and it was as pretty a brook trout as I’d ever seen.

 

A beautiful brookie from "Death Prong"

For the next few hours, we’d climb our way up the sometimes craggy, often slippery rocks that were left bare by our drought years that many thought might go on forever. The creek was a shadow of what it had been in the past, and the rushing water chose it’s path down the gorge at the lowest points; it would weave it’s way left and right down the mountain, slowly carving deeper into the earth. With this little flow though, the effectiveness of the carving was like that of a dull butter knife on a rubber chicken. Thankfully, a year later, that trickle would prove to be our saving grace. On this day it merely made it easier to pinpoint the location of the fish among the rocks and runs.

We caught fish, and caught fish, and caught fish. Nothing bigger than 8 inches or so – but they were all shiny little gems of green and gold. Bold crimson spots with bright blue halos; the familiar “wormy” markings along the back. When we’d gently release one back into it’s element it would virtually disappear before our eyes. Even in the ultra-clear water it would be very hard for a predator to spot an easy meal because of the amazing natural camouflage the brookie wears.

There were few large pools, and none that were as large as that first one, where we first stumbled out into the creek. However, there was one run that was a little longer; stretching vertically southward in a rare flat spot near a rock as big as a bus. My buddy “Milliam” crawled his way up the left side of the run, sitting and sliding up a short ledge until he was just peeking over the rock ledge and into the heart of the pool. He didn’t say a word, although I’m sure he saw them. He was suddenly all business. His first cast produced a fish. And the second cast. And the third, fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh. And there were more. Many more. It’s hard to recall that pool and not remember the 15 – 20 brook trout Milliam pulled out of there on almost as many casts. They were thick in that pool and neither of us could figure out the reason that so many of them found it such a welcome home. Maybe they were all brothers and sisters,… who knows?

 

The Pool of A Thousand Brookies, Death Prong

It wasn’t long before we got to a point upstream where the creek got much smaller. It was still very fishable here for one or two anglers, but we’d been fishing for 5 or 6 hours and my knees and back were beginning to send me subtle messages that they were nearing their limit on this day. It wasn’t the easy going that we find many times in the Great Smoky Mountain National Park, or in some of the South’s more open water in the foothills of the Blue Ridge range. It was crawling and climbing, hopping and jumping. Carefully negotiating the rocky stream-bed, exposed by a lack of water and so steep I wished we had felt soles on our chest packs at times, I was thinking I’d had enough adventure for one day and knew I’d have to tell Milliam soon that I needed to turn back.

We stopped for water again. It was around 6 pm I guess, and I regrettably told Milliam that my back had done all it wanted to do and that if it was ok with him we could head back downstream anytime. Milliam is a very understanding fishing buddy, and is always eager to accommodate my older-than-normal-feeling body.

I finished off the other bottle of water and watched as my brave buddy used his new-fangled “UV bottle” that supposedly killed off every evil gremlin that might be in the creek water. I’d been sick years before from some bad water – or bad eggs. We never knew which one was to blame for sure, but I never take a chance on water or eggs anymore and although I was still thirsty after finishing off my bottle of water, there was no way I was drinking any creek water that had nothing more than a little blue light applied to it. The technology was very new back then…at least to me and I was just going to wait until we got back to camp. Little did I know that we were actually more than a just a few hours and a few miles from camp. We turned to head downstream and made pretty good time back to the place we first stepped into the creek. Now, it was just a matter of heading even further downstream to meet up with the larger river. From there, we’d hike back upstream to our camp along a trail that we knew from our research and several maps was “somewhere down there.” It was a great plan. What could go wrong?

Again, on this next leg of our trip we made good time, but we couldn’t help but fish the better looking pools and runs when we could get to the side of them without spooking their inhabitants. The little trout still barely managed 8 inches at most, but they were as eager to strike our flies as any we’d ever seen and even though my back was really starting to complain, I tried to keep my mouth shut so that Milliam could continue to fish a little as we headed down toward the main river.

 

Milliam and his UV bottle share a moment on Death Prong.

We’d poured over topo maps months before our visit, sometimes talking over the phone as we researched the trip. I’d been worried that the thin, closely spaced lines near the junction of “Death Prong” and the main river were waterfalls. By about 7 pm, with the sun behind the mountains and an early dusk setting in, we heard the first of them. It was a noisy sluice-type falls on river-left, and although it was impressive and very loud, we easily slipped down the rock face to the right on the small moderately slanted drop. There are very few feeder creeks feeding “Death Prong” and the flow here was about the same as it was a mile or two upstream. The gorge, however, was widening and becoming steeper. The next waterfall was more vertical, and we managed to climb our way down it on river-left, although this was an actual “climb” this time and my back was becoming more insistent that we get this thing over with and get back on more level ground. Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do for it but push on.

The lines didn’t lie. There were at least a half-dozen more waterfalls ranging from the “sluice” type that are easily navigated to a few near vertical drops with no room to go around. Many times, water wet my back and head as we picked the safest looking way down the face of the more vertical falls. There were a few where the forest pinched the creek into a tiny area less than 20 feet wide, which made the descent more dangerous. The rocks are slick where there’s no moss and where there is moss it easily slides off the moment your foot hits it. Even though I wasn’t in the best shape, I’d had plenty of experience navigating creeks like this. Over twenty years worth to be exact, and “Death Prong” ( even at low water ) is no place for a beginning Appalachian trout chaser to test his mettle. It is a beautiful but remote place and a twisted ankle or broken leg here would be a disaster of the first order. Our pace was reduced to a crawl.

 

A very rare, easily ascended portion of Death Prong.

Eventually, another hour’s worth of descending waterfalls and my back couldn’t do it anymore. Each “drop” down, sometimes 5-10 on each falls would jar my back and the pain was mounting. Also, I began to notice that I had a headache and was feeling a little light-headed. I told Milliam that if it was possible, I’d like to try to follow the creek via the woods. We had a GPS, but for whatever reason I don’t think we bothered to look at it very much. We should have. It might have saved us alot of time and energy if we had.

We struggled to bushwhack once again through the heavy undergrowth that ran alongside the creek, although at least this time it was somewhat flat compared to our previous walk in the woods almost twelve hours before. Because we had to choose the path of least resistance, we sometimes veered sharply away from the creek. Always within earshot, much of the time we couldn’t see the creek at all. After fifteen minutes or so of working our way through the jumble of rhododendron, mountain laurel and dog-hobble, we both decided that this “easier” way was worse than climbing down the creek. It was easier on my back, but it was slowing us down now, and it was getting darker and darker under the heavy canopy of this pristine wilderness. We angled back toward the creek, and were about to break out into Death Prong once again; Milliam leading the way… when he stopped dead in his tracks and I almost walked all over him because as usual I was talking and not paying much attention to where I was going. And although I didn’t realize it at the time, I was dehydrated because I’d run out of water much earlier and didn’t have enough water for a full day on the water in the first place… and it was clouding my judgement and making my footsteps sluggish.

Milliam holding one of Death Prong's resident trout.

Then, in one of the strangest moments I’ve ever experienced while in the wild, Milliam lets out a yell.

” Hellooooooooooooooo!”

I’m breathing heavily now, and tense because of his abrupt stop. Was it a bear in the creek? Poachers that built the shooting table? Other fishermen?

I almost whispered it to Milliam since I was standing right behind him….” What is it?” I asked.

“Naked people…” he said.

“NAKED PEOPLE?” I grunted.

“Yeah. A couple. Naked.” Milliam replied as he chuckled.

We’d made it back to civilization….but our adventure was far from over, as we’d soon find ourselves doing something stupid, and I’d find myself in a desperate situation.

______________________________________________

PART THREE COMING SOON!





Who is (actually it’s Peter) A Swanson, and why does he hate me?

31 12 2010

Well, it was bound to happen – and maybe you saw it first hand. My first spam post. Actually, it was less spam and more hate-mail, but whatever – it’s all the same…just useless drivel from some poor soul who must be terribly unhappy with his own life. At least, that’s the only reason I can come up with. I know, I know…I fully realize that you either “love me” or “hate me.” I wear my feelings on my sleeve, always speak my mind(well, almost always), love my liberty(what’s left of it), have strong political beliefs, consider my faith in God inseparable (yet never perfect) from everything else I do…..so I’ve got alot going for me there – or alot to hate, depending on what kind of person you are, I guess.

So, tonight just as I was rambling on about the “good old days” on the internet, forums I’ve been banned from, people who’d rather spit in my face than just agree to disagree….I got a lovely email from an IP address and gmail account that led to a “Peter A. Swanson” who apparently lives in some yankee town up north. Michigan, Minnesota……something like that. He was apparently upset that my fly tying site “OMG It’s Fly Tying!” wasn’t up to his standards. He spewed out something that sounded like ” Hey, you’re tinkling with malice on the history of fly tying….”

Maybe I’m just that clueless. I have no idea what he’s talking about. Or, maybe he’s upset that I’ve got plans. Or that my mother loves me. Or that his doesn’t love him. I have no way to know, because as far as I know I’ve never met Mr. Swanson – although another message of his leads me to believe that he does indeed know me from the internet. Maybe we should meet up on Match.com sometime? ( yeah, right! 🙂 )

So anyway, that got me to thinking……how do you handle rude comments as a blogger? It may seem like I know what I’m doing, but I’ve only really been blogging a couple of months and I’d like to hear how you veteran bloggers handle your hate-mail. That is, if you get any hate-mail. I don’t think I’ve posted anything ( or tied any flies, no matter how imperfect) that would require a response akin to what Mr. Swanson gave me tonight. ( OK, except maybe that one about me crashing a whole website with a post someone didn’t like…:) )

So how do you do it? Do you just delete it? Mark is as spam? Do you ever post it and reply? Is that a fool’s folly? Should I just say that his email is lawdog@gmail.com and he likes junk emails so please sign him up for as much junk as you can? I really don’t know what to do when someone nuts up like that? ( Tonight, I simply deleted his comments and marked them as spam…)

I’m sure it’s not the last hate-mail I’ll get, no matter how open and friendly and helpful I try to be around the ‘net. For whatever reason, that “love me” or “hate me” thing has been with me a long time and I don’t see it changing in the future….