Did you ever have one of those weekends where you thought that maybe God wanted you to stay at home? That maybe some greater cosmic force was upset that you ended up in the Great Outdoors, taking in the beautiful weather and the warm sun? Did you ever stop, look up at the sky and ask “What do you want from me?” I guess I should have know from all the dead skunks along the highway on the way up here this weekend. Apparently it’s skunk mating season, according to my friend Chris. They must all want to mate with Freightliners and PeterBilts from the carnage along I-85.
Well anyway, let me take you through the weekend I’ve just had in case every trip you take turns out peachy-keen. I suppose I shouldn’t be feeling as frustrated as I do, after all the weather was great and the company yesterday was awesome ( my good friend Chris was there) – but we caught few fish. A few. 3. Between us both.
So the fish didn’t exactly go nuts for us, right? That’s ok, right? Yeah, well it would be ok maybe if it was spring already. But this winter! This cold, long, snowy winter that everyone in the South seems to be so sick of enduring…this winter is making it really hard to swallow 3 fish a day between two anglers. I don’t just want fish, I NEED FISH. I enjoy the nature and the woods and the water, but I don’t go fishing to sit on a rock and think about art. If I didn’t like the catching part of fishing, I’d just leave the rod at home and take up hiking I guess…
But, 3 fish a day – What was I thinking? That’s ok! Because today I only had to swallow one fish. In a river full of 15-30 inch trout (that’s right…..30 inch trout in a public river) I caught one 11 inch brook trout. That’ll show me for complaining about three fish I guess! At least I didn’t break a rod this weekend.
I did twist my ankle and run a #22 Griffith’s Gnat through my index finger though. And I inadvertently froze two bananas out in the truck last night. You know what frozen bananas taste like? No? Trust me, you don’t want to know.
So, this morning I wake up to find that I’ve overslept and I make it to the river at a “rooster crowin’ crack of dawn-ish” 11 am. The river was crowded yesterday. Today it is twice as bad. Somewhere to stand and cast to a fish? Hope you brought your own rock. I eventually find a rock to stand on and this is where I perform the incredible feat of 5 hours +/- of fishing and one little brookie.
Then, I decide on a “non-camping” dinner and stop at Wendy’s. This will make the third time I have ordered the new funky cheese Chicken Sammich and NOT gotten one. Do they even make this thing? Are they just advertising it’s asiago cheese, juicy tomato and crispy bacon to lure you in and then give you a PLAIN OLD CHICKEN SAMMICH! THREE TIMES WENDY’S! THREE TIMES you have totally screwed up my order. PS – your new FRIES stink, and tonight they were cold. That will teach me to check the order at the window. And by the way, it’s odd that you can always be super-slow in taking my order, but so pushy when you suggest that I take my change, my drink and my food in like .003 seconds. GIVE ME A MINUTE, will you! I have the same number of hands as you do, you idiot – and one has a wallet in it, the other has the change you just gave me. Shoving a large sweet tea and the bag (with my order wrong, mind you) in my face isn’t going to make me go any faster after I just waited 7 MINUTES FOR YOU TO SAY “CAN I TAKE YOU ORDER?” HELLO? ARE YOU NUTS?
Alright. So then after eating my PLAIN CHICKEN SAMMICH ( FOR THE THIRD TIME! GGRRRRH! ) I decided I’d download the video I shot today. There was precious little catching, but I did get a couple of decent shots of trout ( not of the monster 30 inch ones we saw, unfortunately…). I download the video, process it, save it and start to play it back before uploading it online so I can share it with you guys. Guess what? No, really. Guess. You’ll never guess. Never. Nev…..THAT STUPID GLITCH IS IN MY VIDEO AGAIN EVEN THOUGH I CHECKED IT FIVE TIMES BEFORE SAVING IT AS A MOVIE! SO, NOW I HAVE A MOVIE THAT I THINK IS PRETTY *$&# FUNNY, BUT I CAN’T SHOW YOU BECAUSE EITHER MY COMPUTER, THAT (#@&$ WINDOWS MOVIE MAKER, OR THIS CHEAP KODAK CAMERA KEEPS SCREWING UP THE VIDEO! I’m sure I’ll put up the video for you guys eventually, even with the errors in it…but I can’t tell you how frustrating it is to spend an hour putting something together only to have it come out screwed up with no warning.
And now…….I’m so frustrated I can’t sleep. Horray. Like I don’t already have enough of THAT problem as it is.
So, let me ask you guys – have you ever had to ask yourself if maybe you would have been better off at home?
Spring. Please hurry. I can only practice running from bears for so long. . .