6 Ways to Catch More Trout

14 01 2011

Over the last 17.45 years, I’ve come up with exactly 437 Ways to Catch More Trout. Unfortunately, 431 of them are being complied into a hard-bound bathroom reader called “431 Ways to Catch More Trout, Volume 4.” Sure, it’s the first volume… but the editors said that it sounded alot better to say Volume 4 because that makes the buyer assume that after Volume 1 there was a desperate and immediate need for a Volume 2 and 3…and now obviously, Volume 4.  At any rate, lucky you – you’re going to get to read 6 of the tips that didn’t make the cut when we culled down to “431 Ways to Catch More Trout, Volume 4.” So settle into your easy chair, grab a cup of coffee, tea or whatever else you enjoy putting down your throat, and get ready to be amazed…

 

6 Ways to Catch More Trout

(Or, The Tips we Culled.)

 

  1. Before fishing for three or four hours, double check to make sure you have a fly on your line. One with a hook is preferable.
  2. Fishing for trout is most easily accomplished in rivers that have at least one trout per mile. If you pull up to fish and see men carrying buckets of cranberries, you should probably consider moving on. On the other hand, if you brought waffle mix and a Coleman Stove, you’re still in business.
  3. When closing the door to your vehicle near a trout stream, make sure to lock your keys, net and camera in your vehicle. This will insure you will catch a tremendous trout of such size and proportion that no one will ever believe you landed it.
  4. When you get to the river, wade out from the bank exactly far enough to stand in three feet of water. Then, with careful and precision planning, fall down face first. If you get that over with in the beginning, it probably will not happen when you have that 19 inch brown trout on the line. Probably.
  5. Take great care that you carry only your dry fly box with you on that 8 mile solo hike over a huge mountain in Montana, if you wish to test your ability to convert a dry to a nymph and get a single strike from just one of an absolutely absurd number of giant cutthroat trout. ( Or, you could carry nymphs and small shot and actually catch fish. )
  6. Wear dark colored clothes when fishing for trout. As everyone knows, trout are conservative fish and bright lime colored waders make them nauseous, and you can imagine how awful it must be to puke underwater. Or get a breath mint, afterwards.

 

So, there you have it and the best part is that all these tips, culled though they may be, didn’t cost you a darn thing. Free flies, free rod building kits and now 6 free tips to help you catch more trout!? Just send in those pics of your best trout you catch using these methods, and we’ll send you a dozen free copies of our bathroom reader when it comes out. Looks like we’re shooting for 2034, but there’s alot more culling to do so who knows?

 

Owl Jones

Related Posts:  https://southernblueridge.wordpress.com/tag/lists/

 

 

 

 

 

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12 responses

14 01 2011
Nate - Fishing In Pa

Whoa, whoa, whoa….. You need flies with hooks?! Are you kidding me?

14 01 2011
Howard (cofisher)

Dear Sir,

I would like to pre-order a copy of 431 Ways to Catch More Trout, Volume 4. I have volumes 1-3 and would like to add this one to my collection. I have enclosed a blank check, which should cover the cost of the book and shipping. Please have Mr. Jones autograph my book?

Sincerely,

Izya A. Fool
C/O Mt. Airy Mental Hospital
Denver, CO.

14 01 2011
The River Damsel

Izya…BTW, Is that little fish lip trout lurking in the hallways? LOL!!! I bet he followed you…

14 01 2011
The River Damsel

Are these all tried and true??? Because, I swear that I caught a fish that day that I wore my bright yellow pants!!!! Just sayin… << And I sure wish that I would run into someone making waffles one day at the river… : ) But, maybe that's just a GA. thing…heehee.

14 01 2011
Owl Jones

Nah. We don’t make waffles. We make cupcakes. You don’t believe me? Look at my friend “bigGAtrout” serving up some birthday cupcakes to my other buddy “Lil Joe” in the parking area for the Nantahala River DH section: https://southernblueridge.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/rodneycupcake.jpg

OH HOLY CRUD! IS THAT…….RODNEY!

14 01 2011
The River Damsel

Very nice! Maybe in your next book, VOL.5, you can enlighten us on how you fish with an 11 ft rod in a 6 ft wide stream…

14 01 2011
Owl Jones

You. SO Crazy. 🙂 lol

14 01 2011
Zach

Great suggestions! I’ll be upping the catch rate here in no time.

14 01 2011
dtgbuettner

It’s true…..puking underwater really does suck.

14 01 2011
dtgbuettner

No breath mints either…..

15 01 2011
Coelacanth

I wish I had read your book before I went to Montana. What a great tip!

15 01 2011
Owl Jones

The Tips in my book (or on this page) are based on my personal experiences only, and are not intended to resemble any other angler’s experience, real or fictional. Except that one you’re referring to right there.

I stole that one from you. So see, leaving your nymphs behind that day actually did have a silver lining! (for me?) 🙂 lol

Everyone, meet one of my very best friends, fishing and otherwise – Mr. C.M. Coelacanth! ( How you like that C.M. part…nice ring to it I think.)
You can call him Coleman, Coletrain or Coleslaw. (Even though by pronunciation, none of that makes much sense. We do it anyway. That’s what he gets for being so original with his nickname. 🙂 )

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