GOOD GOOGLIE-MOOGLIE!

4 01 2011

 

That’s right, I said it. Good googlie-mooglie. Do I know what it means? Umm, well…no. Not really. But I’m saying it anyway! Why? Well, I’d like to tell you but I can’t. Not yet. Not right now. Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow. It involves a certain well-known, well-respected, and darn near historic fly shop and good ‘ole FFSBR. Did we what? Did we buy a fly shop? Hmm….now that’s an interesting thought! A fly shop with an internet cafe. We could have wi-fi, and maybe sell some of that Japanese Tenkara tea and place a small table of crumpets near the bamboo rods. If we knew what a crumpet was or where to get them. Maybe a giant fish sculpture by local folk artist “Cornbread.” ( Yes. Really. It’s quite good art, too.)

Over near the waders, a small book rack could hold every written work by Skues, Halford, Sparse Grey Hackle, and Nick Lyons. There could be a whole wall devoted to OBN, who by then, having conquered almost every aspect of the online fly fishing world, would have loads of gear with their logo. Even itsy-bitsy fly boxes that hold only 3 flies each for the tenkara guys who swear that all you need for a day of fishing anywhere is one pattern. No doubt they’d also have their own line of rods, which would obviously be called “OBN’s RNG Heartbreaker Special “, numbers 1-5, each number having several weights and lenghts and all of them being coated in a super-secret propiretary nano-technology that allows you to catch a fish and weigh it – and then press a small indent in the cork to reveal a tiny keyboard and screen where you can wirelessly upload the catch to your blog. An OBN subscription would be required, of course ( 4 Easy Pay Installments of $60.43 ea.) – but you could buy that at the counter in the store when you bought your rod and your license and your OBN “Three fly” flybox. And your auto-detect waders.

What’s that? You haven’t heard about those? Well, I shouldn’t be saying anything about it here. Not not. Not today. But, if you promise not to tell anyone…I’ll spill the beans. Everyone knows I can’t keep a secret anyway –

The waders. They’re …they’re….magical! Ok, they’re not magical, but they do have a built in, super-high-tech, hydo-revolution-composite-iReader-interface that allows them to “see” the fish in the river and show a detailed, holographic image of each fish and their exact location relevant to your current position via a small, hologram display where the little inside pocket is normally located on a good pair of Simms breathables. There. Now you know. Keep it under your hat though, ok? They’ll kill me if they find out I told you about it. It’s all very hush-hush. Well, hush-hush is …I mean, it’s a bit of a secret but it’s not like that other thing that Mike is working on. You know Mike, right? Troutrageous Mike? Oh, I can’t tell you about that at all. There’s no way. Rumor is it that Mike reads this blog at least once every four months and what if he saw it? No, I just can’t. …ALRIGHT YOU FORCED ME INTO IT! I heard just today that Mike is working with The River Damsel (who goes covertly by the name “Queen of the River Sprites”) on a top secret secret to top all secret fly fishing secrets that ever were secrets!

 

OK, So…..if we bought a fly shop and had all this cool stuff in it, there is no freakin’ way we’d not carry that new thing that Mike and The River Damsel have been working on. I’m not supposed to be telling you about it but they have been working on it under assumed names, in a secret bunker located somewhere beneath the Madison. I’m sure it’s between those two big runs with the deeper section between them…you know the place. Well anyway, we just have to have that thing, even if it is a little dangerous. Oh what is it? Right. Right. Well, …come closer. closer. now look around. You haven’t been followed here have you? alright. word is, that Troutrageous Mike and The River Damsel have been working on a project that will make every fish in the river turn on to a #26 extended body emergent Deer Hair Stink-bug in a very specific pale maroon color at an exact time chosen by the angler who holds in his  rich little hand( the thing costs 4.1 million bucks) a military-grade-hyper-sensitive, lunar powered, mostly carbon fiber, slightly irregular, Dave’s Bug Float scented, nearly patented, multi-colored, Gore-Tex, carbon-infused-nylon, Windows 12 scrunchie. You put this thing in your hair, ready your #26 extended body emergent Deer Hair Stink-bugs, check your tippet, and get ready to slay the trout into the next galaxy.

But DO NOT tell them that you heard it from me! OK? One or both of them will kill me in my sleep, probably with a tenkara leader, a smelly pair of 16 year old neoprene waders and a pink leg-warmer from 1984. Good googlie-mooglie, that would stink.

 

 

 

 

My friend “Milliam” happy, no?

 

By the way, two things: 1. I often revise things, make corrections, and proofread immediately after posting. Or change whole paragraphs and plot lines. You jump on a post that fast with your comments and you may end up looking silly. 😉 YMMV on that.

Secondish, there really may be some nice news here tomorrow. We may be doing our first give-away thanks to that historic fly shop I mentioned above. I wrote them a note about their ethics and directed them to the “shout out” I gave them and they’ve offered to provide a prize in a giveaway. I think. To be honest with you, I was so floored by the offer that I had to reply and ask if I was reading it correctly!?

So, stay tuned. We’re just getting cranked up around here.

Now, where did I put that new scrunchie…….

 

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7 responses

4 01 2011
Mike Adams

If you did buy a fly shop and have an internet cafe wouldn’t it be called a “wi-fly” instead of “wi-fi”? Just a thought.

4 01 2011
howard

Hi Owl,

Well, I was hoping that someone would post before me so maybe I could get a hint or two about your secret. It’s safe with me buddy, I’m clueless.

4 01 2011
Owl Jones

Bwahahaha….my plan is working.

And yes, that’s awesome – we could have “Wi-Fly!” in-store!

4 01 2011
Tweets that mention GOOD GOOGLIE-MOOGLIE! « Fly Fishing the Southern Blue Ridge -- Topsy.com

[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Func. Fishaholics. Func. Fishaholics said: RT @owljones: GOOD GOOGLIE-MOOGLIE!: http://wp.me/p1glyG-44 […]

4 01 2011
troutrageous1

Oh crap, cat’s outta the bag. We better rush that prototype to the patent office NOW!

4 01 2011
Joe

I don’t even know where to begin ….

4 01 2011
The River Damsel

I had a hunch about your ability to keep secrets…..sure glad that I didn’t tell you everything about…..and just because the Madison is my favorite “BIG WATER” river, doesn’t mean…..and that pink legwarmer has been washed, but not sure about Mike’s neo’s!!! ; )

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